Tag Archives: discordant couples

My Partner Just Told Me They Have Herpes. I Don’t. Now What?

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handsHas your new partner just informed you that he or she has herpes? People have many reactions when hearing this kind of news — and, depending on how informed you are about herpes, your reaction might be tinged with panic or fear. If that’s your instinct, try to keep those feelings in check: Your partner might be feeling very vulnerable, so it’s best not to react with shunning or shaming.

More than 80 percent of people with genital herpes are unaware of their infections.

By being open about his or her STD status, your partner has demonstrated a sense of responsibility toward your sexual health and a respect for your ability to make informed decisions. It’s possible that your partner was not given this same consideration by the person from whom he or she contracted herpes — some people with genital herpes choose not to disclose their status, while most don’t even know they carry the virus in the first place.

Herpes is more widespread than most of us realize. It can be caused by one of two strains of the herpes simplex virus: HSV-1 or HSV-2. While HSV-1 is more commonly associated with cold sores and HSV-2 is more commonly associated with genital herpes, either virus can infect the genital area. One estimate states that 1 out of 5 American females and 1 out of 9 American males between 14 to 49 years of age have a genital HSV-2 infection.

Now that you know your partner has herpes, you might have some questions. How easy is it to transmit genital herpes from one partner to another? What can you do to minimize your chances of catching the virus? And, while it is certainly stigmatized in our culture, is herpes something to fear? Continue reading →

STD Awareness: How Can I Protect Myself if My Partner Has Herpes?

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herpes protectionHas your partner, or potential partner, recently informed you that he or she has been diagnosed with genital herpes? After thinking about it, did you decide to continue with the relationship, despite not being infected with the virus that causes genital herpes yourself? Congratulations — the two of you are now a “discordant couple,” which means that one of you has genital herpes and the other doesn’t. While you might have come to the conclusion that acquiring a herpes simplex virus (HSV) infection below the belt won’t be the end of the world, you still might want to stay discordant — and do everything you can to minimize chances of virus transmission.

Condoms, medication, and abstinence during outbreaks can reduce risk for herpes transmission.

You can read all about herpes elsewhere on this blog, but here’s a quick rundown: Genital herpes can be caused by one of two strains of the herpes simplex virus: HSV-1 or HSV-2. While HSV-1 is more commonly associated with cold sores and HSV-2 is more commonly associated with genital herpes, either virus can infect the genital area. One estimate states that 1 out of 6 Americans between 14 to 49 years of age has a genital HSV-2 infection. Since genital herpes infections can also be caused by HSV-1, the number of people with genital herpes is actually higher.

Barring total abstinence from all sexual activity, you won’t be able to protect yourself completely from acquiring HSV — but there are many steps that you and your partner can take to decrease risk. Studies on discordant couples show that viral transmission can be reduced with condoms, antiviral herpes medications, practicing abstinence when symptoms are present, and patient education.

Condoms

Latex condoms protect against most STDs, especially fluid-borne infections like HIV and gonorrhea. But condoms also provide some protection against STDs that are transmitted by skin-to-skin contact, including genital herpes. One large study found that condom usage was associated with lower rates of HSV-2 acquisition — the more frequently someone used condoms, the lower the risk. Unsurprisingly, risk was also associated with frequency of sex acts: People having vaginal or anal intercourse more than twice weekly were 77 percent more likely to acquire HSV-2 than people having less sex. Continue reading →