Let’s Talk About … Being the Parent of an LGBTQ Child

The following guest post comes to us from Planned Parenthood Arizona’s education staff. Contact them at education@ppaz.org.

father-and-son-thumbnailOctober is Let’s Talk month, when Planned Parenthood advocates for better parent-child communication around sexuality. Last year we wrote about why it’s so important for any parent to talk to their child about sexuality — early and often. Parents are the primary sexuality educators of their children, and children who can talk to their parents about sexuality wait longer to have sex, and are more likely to use protection.

Planned Parenthood has great resources to help parents talk to their kids. Advocates for Youth also has a comprehensive guide to help parents through difficult conversations. Planned Parenthood also has resources for parents of LGBTQ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer/Questioning) youth. You might also ask your friendly local librarian about one of these books recommended by PFLAG, a national organization for families, friends, and allies of LGBTQ people.


Demand LGBTQ inclusivity and comprehensive sex education in your school district.


On November 2, Planned Parenthood will host an interactive workshop in Phoenix for parents of LGBTQ youth, where they can practice being an “askable” parent. Parents of LGBTQ kids may find it a little more difficult to be an “askable” adult. But it’s even more important because your children are at particular risk. LGBTQ youth face significant obstacles in their schools, in the world, and, sometimes, unfortunately, in their own homes. LGBTQ youth experience high rates of homelessness, depression/anxiety, and astronomically high rates of suicides — 3 times higher than straight youth. Study after study has shown that, in schools, LGBTQ youth face much higher levels of bullying, harassment, intimidation, threats, and physical assault than their peers. Stopbullying.gov reports that bullied LGBTQ youth (or youth perceived as LGBTQ) are more likely to skip school, smoke, use alcohol and drugs, and to engage in other risky behaviors.

If your child is transgender, their risks are exponentially higher. Almost all transgender students report being harassed at school about their sexual orientation and/or gender. More than half of transgender students report being physically harassed (pushed, shoved) in school. And about a third report being physically assaulted (punched, kicked, or injured with a weapon). For more information on transgender discrimination in schools, please see Harsh Realities: The Experiences of Transgender Youth in Our Nation’s Schools, available online here. Continue reading

May Is National Teen Pregnancy Prevention Month

The following is a guest post by Planned Parenthood Arizona’s Director of Education Vicki Hadd-Wissler, M.A.

mother daughterAt Planned Parenthood Arizona, we hope families are talking about changing bodies, healthy relationships, love, and sex throughout the year, and with May’s National Teen Pregnancy Prevention Month, parents and the important adults in the lives of teens have a unique opportunity to talk with teens about pregnancy prevention. The month is aimed at helping teens to identify their plans for the future, and consider how those plans would be impacted by an unintended pregnancy.

Ongoing conversations between parents and teens build in protective factors. Studies have shown that teens who report having ongoing conversations with their parents about sex wait longer to begin having sex and are more likely to use condoms and other birth control methods when they eventually become sexually active. Even more surprising for many parents is that these studies also show that teens want to hear about what their parents have to say about sex and relationships.

Planned Parenthood Arizona can suggest some amazing resources to fit the needs of your family and to start dialogue with a teen you love. Continue reading

VOX: Raising Our Voices for Comprehensive Sex Education

VOX represents the University of Arizona

VOX represents the University of Arizona

The University of Arizona is home to a passionate chapter of VOX: Voices for Planned Parenthood, where the new generation of reproductive justice activists gains hands-on experience empowering community members with the knowledge they need to make healthy choices. Their current mission is to expand access to comprehensive sexuality education in Arizona, a state with a high teenage pregnancy rate thanks to abstinence-only policies.

Many VOX members are alumni of Tucson Unified School District (TUSD), and these college students have returned to their old stomping grounds to demand a better education for Tucson’s youth. We asked some of them to share their memories of piecing together the mysteries of human sexuality in an environment in which the topic was shrouded in secrecy.

Anna Keene says:

I went to TUSD schools for middle and high school, both with somewhat present sex ed, but not very comprehensive. I remember being separated by boys and girls, talking about weird smells and periods and not too much else. One of the few lectures we received is vividly fresh in my memory: my friend’s mom (who was also our school counselor) explaining to us that there were “different” kinds of sex, and anal sex was something dangerous, and stressing that “once you kiss someone, they are no longer just your friend,” and that condoms are like gloves you put on your privates to keep them clean. Continue reading

“Let’s Talk”: Parents as Sexuality Educators

The following guest post comes to us from Planned Parenthood Arizona’s education staff. Contact them at education@ppaz.org.

parent child talkingOctober is “Let’s Talk” Month. Do you remember your parents giving you “the Talk”? If you were unlucky, “the Talk” was an uncomfortable event that was never spoken of again. If you were really unlucky, your parents didn’t talk to you at all. If so, maybe you got some ideas on your own, or from your friends, from your coach, or from health class. If you were LGBTQ, maybe you saw a horrifically homophobic video like this. However, if you were lucky, you didn’t receive “the” Talk but instead had many conversations with parents who were open and honest. Maybe it was a bit awkward, like this. But hopefully they gave you accurate information and answered your questions as they came up. If so, good for them!


Being an “askable” parent helps keep the door to conversation open.


Having “the Talk” can be uncomfortable, or even hilarious. But if you’re a parent, make sure you do talk — early and often. At Planned Parenthood Arizona, we recognize that parents are the best sexuality educators for their children. Children get their first messages about sexuality from their parents, and they start wondering about sex earlier than you might think. It’s important for parents to talk about sex so they can be sure their kids understand their family’s values and beliefs. Kids begin collecting information about sex at a very young age — they get messages from the media, from their friends, and from teachers. Parents should ensure the ideas their children have are accurate and in line with their own values. Parents want the best for their kids, and can encourage them to make healthy choices that minimize risky behaviors. Although they might not seem to be listening, most teens say their parents are their biggest influence about sex.

If parents don’t talk about sex, kids get a clear message — that it’s not OK to ask. That’s bad news — If parents aren’t approachable, kids will find information from other sources. Would you want your teenager to follow their friend’s advice? Would you prefer if your children ask you a few uncomfortable questions, or that they go searching the Internet for facts? Continue reading

Breaking Down Myths About Comprehensive Sex Ed

The following post was written by Julie, a Planned Parenthood Arizona intern and an Arizona State University student majoring in biological anthropology and women and gender studies. She has a passion for reproductive health, and hopes one day to pursue medical school and become a provider for an organization like Planned Parenthood.

teensOpponents of sex education take many forms. Some are large organizations with a broad mission of promoting conservative values, while others are small, local groups who work to establish abstinence-only-until-marriage programs in schools. They cite anything from “reversing the decline in moral values in our nation” to “restraining evil by exposing the works of darkness” as a mission statement, but they all share a common theme: the mischaracterization of sexuality education programs through inaccurate descriptions of research, and the use of fear tactics to promote their own agenda.

Below, you’ll find some of the common myths that opponents preach about comprehensive sexuality education, plus the research-based facts that debunk them.

Myth: Sex education only encourages teens to have more sex.

Fact: Evidence shows that teens who receive sexuality education wait longer to have sex and have fewer partners than teens who don’t. Young people going through puberty are naturally curious about their sexuality, especially when they’re bombarded with sexual imagery through TV, movies, and the Internet. Comprehensive sex education doesn’t pique their interest, it gives them the tools to understand and interpret the sexual messages they receive on a daily basis.

Myth: Premarital pregnancy and STD rates have skyrocketed since sex education began in the 1960s.

Fact: This is a blatant untruth that opponents of sexuality education can’t even back up with data. Teen pregnancy rates increased slightly in the mid-20th century, but CDC reports show that national averages have been on a steady decline since then. In fact, states that require comprehensive sex education in their classrooms have the lowest rates of teen pregnancy in the country. The numbers don’t lie — comprehensive sex ed works. Continue reading

Abstinence-Only Is a Failure to Educate

Editor’s Note: The following post was written by Julie, one of Planned Parenthood Arizona’s interns. Julie is an Arizona State University student majoring in biological anthropology and women and gender studies. She has a passion for women’s reproductive health, and hopes one day to pursue medical school and become a provider for an organization like Planned Parenthood.

college studentsHow well do college students feel their sex education prepared them for navigating relationships in college and coming into their sexuality?

Though many young people begin dating in high school, college is the time when a lot of relationships flourish and students begin to explore their own sexuality. The experience can be exhilarating, like navigating a battlefield of hookups and breakups without the threat of a curfew.


Abstinence-only programs fail students, who need accurate information to make informed decisions to protect their health.


Facing the dating scene in college can be scary as well, especially for those who didn’t have the chance to learn about sexuality or how to form healthy relationships while still at home. Many schools across the country teach only abstinence to students, and this can leave them ill-prepared to make healthy decisions when they face real-world situations.

Bailey W., an ASU women and gender studies student, describes her experience with sex ed in primary school as anything but comprehensive. Her school provided the abstinence-only education common in schools across Arizona and many other areas of the country. These programs advocate for heterosexual, monogamous marriages as the only appropriate settings for sexual interaction.

For Bailey, this created an unhealthy mental perception of sex that followed her into college. “I felt guilty about my sexuality because I was always taught that there are only two options: Don’t be sexual and stay safe, or be sexual and put yourself at extreme risk of ruining your whole life.” She admitted she didn’t know much about birth control until she came to college, and her first boyfriend basically taught her about her own anatomy. Continue reading

Teen Talk: Your Sexual Education

Flashback: I remember standing in the girls’ bathroom at school during fifth grade recess while my best friend explained to me how babies are made. I was shocked! Suddenly I had lots of questions about these “facts” — and no one to ask. Talk to my parents? NO WAY! That scenario was out of the question. Even if there had been an understanding adult around who I trusted talking to about big stuff, I’m sure I would have been much too embarrassed to start that discussion.


In the age of the Internet and free-flowing information, almost everything is out there for you to find!


How did you first learn about sex? Who did you ask those intimate and embarrassing questions about your body and the new feelings you were experiencing? Where did you go to get the truth about sex, reproduction, relationships? Who explained how to use contraception or what sexually transmitted infections are — without judgment? Or are you still trying to find the facts you need?

If you are fortunate, your parents may have initiated early and open conversations with you about healthy relationships, sexuality, and reproduction. Surveys have shown that 36 percent of teen girls get information about sex and reproduction from friends and family. But even some of the most progressive parents may find it hard to talk about sexual relationships and intimacies outside of their own beliefs and experiences. And older teens are really not that interested in discussing sex with their parents, no matter how good a relationship they may have.

My public school “sexual education” continued later on in sixth grade when my mother and I were invited with other girls from my class and their mothers to attend a movie explaining the changes in our bodies and our upcoming entry into womanhood — read: “menstruation.” Also known as: “your period.” I don’t recall receiving any information about sex, relationships, or contraception along with this movie. Perhaps it was supposed to be a starting point for my mom to have the “sex talk” with me. That didn’t happen, by the way. And I don’t know if the boys in my class received any similar information that year. Continue reading