Break the Silence This May 17

May 17. The day the world will “break the silence” and remind society the International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia, and Biphobia (IDAHO) is here. May 17 is significant because it marks the day in 1990 when the World Health Organization declassified homosexuality as a mental disorder. Even though we have made much progress in representation since then, we must still raise our voices to illuminate the violence and discrimination experienced by the LGBTQ community. To break the silence, we must no longer hide in the shadows and instead celebrate our uniqueness and own the space we have a right to inhabit.


Be loud on May 17!


Breaking the silence is the theme for 2020’s IDAHO commemoration. How do we break the silence? How do we get the world’s attention and bring to light the injustice and hate we suffer each year? As evidenced by the Hate Crime Statistics report by the FBI, in terms of sheer numbers, gay men take the brunt of the discrimination with 60% of hate crimes crimes committed against them while approximately 12% targeted lesbians, 2.4% targeted transgender and gender-nonconforming people, and 1.5% targeted bisexuals.

If you want to help break the silence, there are many ways you can participate in IDAHO — even with social distancing measures in place. The internet is a great place to start. Continue reading

Being a Parent of a Gender-fluid Youth

My child, assigned female at birth, is discovering who they are. They have been gay, straight, pansexual, and everything in between. They have been male, female, both, and neither. They go by both their given name and the name they chose for themselves as a male.

They use the men’s restroom in public and have a “boy” haircut, but still love flowy dresses they can twirl and feel pretty in. They bind their breasts when they feel like a boy, but wear a basic bra when they feel like a girl. They don’t wear a bikini to the pool, but rather a swim shirt and trunks to feel the most comfortable in their skin.


“I am incredibly proud of the person my child is becoming and look forward to all the things they will accomplish.”


Since they now identify as both genders, but more often male, they chose the label gender-fluid. Gender-fluid means “denoting or relating to a person who does not identify themselves as having a fixed gender,” as from the Google dictionary.

Even though they now fit into one of the many labels available to them, it has been hard for me to accept the loss of my little girl. I have felt confusion and fear, sometimes so strangulating I fight back tears. Confusion as to whether I did something wrong in their younger years, or if there was something I could have done better to help them accept the gender they were born in. As I’ve had time to reflect, it has become apparent to me that my confusion came from a place of misunderstanding. An ignorance of how gender expression can be more than just male or female; that androgyny is an expression of gender as well, and there are many ways to explore gender other than simply what I grew up to accept. I have come to understand my child and I are on a path of self-discovery together, learning and growing into more well-rounded people as a result. Continue reading